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Lundy Bancroft
“Physical aggression by a man toward his partner is abuse, even if it happens only once. If he raises a fist; punches a hole in the wall; throws things at you; blocks your way; restrains you; grabs, pushes, or pokes you; or threatens to hurt you, that’s physical abuse. He is creating fear and using your need for physical freedom and safety as a way to control you.”
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Lundy Bancroft
“Outside of my professional life, I have known many couples over the years who had passion and electricity between them and who treated each other well. But unfortunately there is wide acceptance in our society of the unhealthy notion that passion and aggression are interwoven and that cruel verbal exchanges and bomblike explosions are the price you pay for a relationship that is exciting, deep, and sexy. Popular romantic movies and soap operas sometimes reinforce this image.”
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Lundy Bancroft
“Physical aggression by a man toward his partner is abuse, even if it happens only once.”
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Lundy Bancroft
“It is fine to commiserate with a man about his bad experience with a previous partner, but the instant he uses her as an excuse to mistreat you, stop believing anything he tells you about that relationship and instead recognize it as a sign that he has problems with relating to women.”
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Lundy Bancroft
“THE ABUSER’S PROBLEM IS NOT THAT HE RESPONDS INAPPROPRIATELY TO CONFLICT. HIS ABUSIVENESS IS OPERATING PRIOR TO THE CONFLICT: IT USUALLY CREATES THE CONFLICT, AND IT DETERMINES THE SHAPE THE CONFLICT TAKES.”
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

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