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“Scriptures, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.”
― The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
― The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
“Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.”
― The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
― The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
“Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.”
― The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
― The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
“Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.”
― The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
― The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
“Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion - thus:
Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man.
Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; Therefore-
Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second.
This may be called syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.”
― The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man.
Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; Therefore-
Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second.
This may be called syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.”
― The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
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