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“I am porous to the world, a kind of joyful sponge for the affectations and interests of the people I love. It has been the work of my life to build slightly firmer boundaries around myself so that I can figure out where I end and the people I love begin.”
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“The Story rules are coming from inside the house. And the house always wins.”
― The Crane Wife: A Memoir in Essays
― The Crane Wife: A Memoir in Essays
“Doctors and nurses offer unconditional care, they treat whomever it is their job to heal. In order to be ethical they must be impartial.
But to be in love is to be partial. It is to be specific. All romantic love is conditional, in that the condition is the persons essential nature. Their themness. If your love for a person isn’t predicated on the condition that they are them, right now as they are, and is instead predicated on their need for that love, or on your thinking that you could do a good job of making that person happier or better, then you are a nurse. You are a robot hero. And maybe you can save the day but you are not a lover. You are not in love.”
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But to be in love is to be partial. It is to be specific. All romantic love is conditional, in that the condition is the persons essential nature. Their themness. If your love for a person isn’t predicated on the condition that they are them, right now as they are, and is instead predicated on their need for that love, or on your thinking that you could do a good job of making that person happier or better, then you are a nurse. You are a robot hero. And maybe you can save the day but you are not a lover. You are not in love.”
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Sergio’s 2025 Year in Books
Take a look at Sergio’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
Favorite Genres
Polls voted on by Sergio
Lists liked by Sergio
