ash

“I found most of my solace in reading, writing, and music. Happiness was abnormal, something worthy of applause and celebration. If I was in a good mood for longer than a few hours, it was almost astonishing. I was angry at being alive, at having to exist in human form. I wanted to disappear.”
― Erika L. Sánchez, Crying in the Bathroom

“Why do I want someone to think of me and only me, to see me and only me? Maybe that’s it—I set myself up for failure, so I can bail out.”
― Sarah Jackson, A Bit Much

“There’s always been a part of me that is vast and empty. Though I have a vivid inner life and find so much meaning in books, art, writing, and relationships, there’s something deep inside me that feels like an insatiable pit. No matter the circumstances, there’s never enough. Maybe that’s one way to describe my depression: a bottomless desire for which I will destroy everything in my path in a fruitless attempt to satisfy. Beauty in its various forms is what makes me feel most complete—a poem that obliterates me, a painting that makes me gasp, a song that fills me with inexplicable wonder. But once that passes, it’s there again: the absence, the void, the need, the gaping hole of nothingness.”
― Erika L. Sánchez, Crying in the Bathroom

“She says she’s proud of me. I think she might say it only to reassure herself that she’s a good mother.”
― Sarah Jackson, A Bit Much