Anna

“Don't spit in my hair!"
"Don't get hair in my spit. That's my good saliva.”
― Ciara Smyth, Not My Problem

“One time," Kavi started, and I pinched the bridge of my nose before the story even got going, "when I was little I told my brother that he should get in the tumble dryer and we'd turn it one and see what happened and then my mam founded me trying to help him in, you know like stuffing his limbs in there, and she almost had a heart attack and started screaming that appliances are not for people and then she told my brother to get out of the tumble dryer and never go in there again, but when he tried to get out again he was stuck and we has to call the fire brigade to cut him out of it. then we didn't have a tumble dryer for ages but now we have one that's a washing machine and a tumble dryer in one.”
― Ciara Smyth, Not My Problem

“If I'm going to murder people I'm going to do it in style. I'm not going to half-arse it. It's not Maths homework. It's a passion project.”
― Ciara Smyth, Not My Problem

“Cos I fancy you. I'm hoping that if I go to all this effort you'll look at me and think, 'Well, she might be a dumbass, but she tries'. And then, I dunno, maybe you'll flash me or something.”
― Ciara Smyth, Not My Problem