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George Carlin
“Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.”
― George Carlin

George Carlin
“You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people... I do... I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get past around a minute, minute-and-a-half, I gotta get the f*** outta there.”
― George Carlin, It's Bad for Ya

George Carlin
“Homemade is a myth. You want to know some things that are homemade? Crystal meth. Crack cocaine. A pipe bomb full of nails. Now we're talkin' homemade.”
― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“My advice: just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.”
― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

George Carlin
“Nothing worse... nothing worse that to be stuck somewhere with some married a-hole and have to listen to him tell you about his f***in' kids... Let me tell ya something, folks... nobody cares about your children, okay?" Nobody cares about your children. I speak for everyone. I've been appointed by the rest of the group to inform you we don't care about your children – that's why they're your children, so you can care about them and we don't have to bother.”
― George Carlin

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Taylor
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Desperation / The Regulators by Stephen  King
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