Ava Moody

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Rick Riordan
“I was desperate. I had to keep Annabeth alive. I imagined all the bubbles in the sea—always churning, rising. I imagined them coming together, being pulled toward me.
The sea obeyed. There was a flurry of white, a tickling sensation all around me, and when my vision cleared, Annabeth and I had a huge bubble of air around us. Only our legs stuck into the water.
She gasped and coughed. Her whole body shuddered, but when she looked at me, I knew the spell had been broken.
She started to sob—I mean horrible, heartbroken sobbing. She put her head on my shoulder and I held her.
Fish gathered to look at us—a school of barracudas, some curious marlins.
'Scram!' I told them.
They swam off, but I could tell they went reluctantly. I swear I understood their intentions.
They were about to start rumors flying around the sea about the son of Poseidon and some girl at the bottom of Siren Bay.”
Rick Riordan, The Sea of Monsters

Rick Riordan
“When in doubt," Calypso said, "Tater Tots.”
Rick Riordan, The Dark Prophecy

Rick Riordan
“She stepped back and frowned at me. "Open it."
"Me?" I felt sure she was picking on me because I was the only enslaved god she had. "I'm not Hermes! I'm not even Valdez!"
"Try."
As if that were a simple request! I attempted to get my fingertips under the edge and prise it open. I spread my arms and yelled the standard magic words: MELLON! SHAZAM! SESAME STREET! None of these worked. At last I tried my infallible ace in the hole. I sang 'Love Is an Open Door' from the Frozen soundtrack. Even this failed.
"Impossible!" I cried. "This door has no taste in music!”
Rick Riordan, The Dark Prophecy
tags: humor

Rick Riordan
“Lo!" I said. "I arrived at Camp Half-Blood as Lester Papadopoulos!"
"A pathetic mortal!" Calypso chorused. "Most worthless of teens!"
I glared at her, but I didn't dare stop my performance again. "I overcame many challenges with my companion, Meg McCaffrey!"
"He means his master!" Calypso added. "A twelve-year-old girl! Behold her pathetic slave, Lester, most worthless of teens!"
The policeman huffed impatiently. "We know all this. The emperor told us."
"Shh," said Nanette. "Be polite."
I put my hand over my heart. "We secured the Grove of Dodona, an ancient Oracle, and thwarted the plans of Nero! But, alas, Meg McCaffrey fled from me. Her evil stepfather had poisoned her mind!"
"Poison!" Calypso cried. "Like the breath of Lester Papadopoulos, most worthless of teens!"
I resisted the urge to push Calypso into the flower bed.
Meanwhile, Leo was making his way towards the bulldozer under the guise of an interpretive dance routine, spinning and gasping and pantomiming my words. He looked like a hallucinating ballerina in boxer shorts, but the blemmyae politely got out of his way.
"Lo!" I shouted. "From the Oracle of Dodona we received a prophecy - a limerick most terrible!"
"Terrible!" Calypso chorused. "Like the skills of Lester, most worthless of teens!"
"Vary your adjectives," I grumbled, then continued for my audience: "We travelled west in search of another Oracle, along the way fighting many fearsome foes! The Cyclopes we brought low!”
Rick Riordan, The Dark Prophecy
tags: humor

Rick Riordan
“She pinched her nose against the stench as I squirted oil of vitriol around the door. Vaporous tendrils curled from the seams. "What is that stuff?"
"Back in medieval times," I said, "we used oil of vitriol for its healing properties. No doubt that's why Commodus had some in his infirmary. Today we call it sulphuric acid."
Meg flinched. "Isn't that dangerous?"
"Very."
"And you healed with it?"
"It was the Middle Ages. We were crazy back then."
I held up the second syringe, this one filled with water. "Meg, what I'm about to do - never, ever try this on your own." I felt a bit silly giving this advice to a girl who regularly fought monsters with golden swords, but I had promised Bill Nye the Science Guy I would always promote safe laboratory practices.”
Rick Riordan, The Dark Prophecy
tags: humor

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