Janet

“I told the joke, but someone else got the high five. That’s like me drinking a cup of coffee and a guy in a coma waking up. Go back to bed, buddy, your golfing days are over.”
― Jarod Kintz, To be good at golf you must go full koala bear

“They say those who can't do, teach. That's why today I'm pleased to announce I'm giving golfing lessons.”
― Jarod Kintz, To be good at golf you must go full koala bear

“I love cola-flavored soda—especially if it's authentically brown colored and manufactured by the government. It reminds me that Soviet Russia never produced any great golfers, and that is the only mistake made by the game over the centuries.”
― Jarod Kintz, To be good at golf you must go full koala bear

“I watch people play golf in silence. Even after they hit I remain quiet, because my commentary won't help the ball roll into the hole, but it will saturate the air with unwanted pressure. Spoken words are like direct energy weapons, and I don't deploy them at an unarmed target.”
― Jarod Kintz, To be good at golf you must go full koala bear