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David Sedaris
“I'm the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I've never even met.”
David Sedaris

E.B. White
“There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born here, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size and its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter — the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is the New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something.
...Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness; natives give it solidity and continuity; but the settlers give it passion. ”
E.B. White, Here Is New York

J.D. Salinger
“I'm a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.”
J.D. Salinger, Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters & Seymour: An Introduction

Voltaire
“God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh.”
Voltaire

David Sedaris
“If you're looking for sympathy you'll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.”
David Sedaris, Barrel Fever: Stories and Essays

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