Valarie

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Steven Wright
“It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.”
Steven Wright

Rita Rudner
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.”
Rita Rudner

Dave Barry
“Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.”
Dave Barry

Mark Twain
“I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.”
Mark Twain

Dave Barry
“Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.”
Dave Barry

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