Valarie

“If you work in a hospital, you can’t easily fake call in sick to work. Oh, you’re sick? Well why don’t you come in to work and we’ll have a look at it.”
― Jarod Kintz, $3.33

“My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it's unbelievably clear.”
― Steven Wright

“The reason it’s hard for men to say “I love you” is because those three words represent 10% of the average man’s vocabulary.”
― Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.

“A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid.”
― Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.