Kelly Brown

“Do not fall in love with people like me.
I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth.
I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.”
― Caitlyn Siehl, Literary Sexts: A Collection of Short & Sexy Love Poems

“Otto could be extremely convincing. During our sophomore year, he’d persuaded me to boycott McDonald’s, even though they’d recently brought back the McRib.”
― Simon Rich, The Last Girlfriend on Earth: And Other Love Stories

“It was strange, really. A couple months ago, I had thought I couldn’t live without him. Apparently I could.”
― Gabrielle Zevin, Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac

“God: Check out this human I designed.
Angel: Wow, that looks pretty incredible. How does it work?
God: It's pretty complicated. Point to something and I'll tell you what it does.
Angel: Okay. What are these?
God: Teeth. They're for chewing up food.
Angel: How come there are so many of them?
God: I threw in, like, three or four extra. If they don't like them, they can pll them out somehow, I guess.
Angel: What about this weird bag thing?
God: That's the appendix.
Angel: What does it do?
God: It explodes.
Angel: Really? That's all?
God: Pretty much.
Angel: What causes that to happen?
God: It just happens randomly. Like you'll just be walking down the street or driving a car and boom.
Angel: Geez...that's terrifying. Does it kill the person?
God: (shrugs) Sometimes.”
― Simon Rich