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“The shades of gender in her voice were intricate, like mine.”
― Stone Butch Blues
― Stone Butch Blues
“Ed," I said, "I really fucked up this time"
"Nah," she reassured me, "you just got a little more growing up to do."
"I don't know if i can do it," I told her.
My friend laughed. "You got no choice.”
― Stone Butch Blues
"Nah," she reassured me, "you just got a little more growing up to do."
"I don't know if i can do it," I told her.
My friend laughed. "You got no choice.”
― Stone Butch Blues
“I think gender can take a lesson from sadomasochism (S/M): gender needs to be safe, sane, and consensual.
Gender is not safe.
If i change my gender, I'm at risk of homocide, suicide or a life devoid of half my responsibilities.
If I'm born with a body that gives mixed gender signals, I'm at risk of being butchered - fixed, mutilated.
Gender is not safe.
And gender is not sane.
It's not sane to call a rainbow black and white.
It's not sane to demand we fit into one or the other only.
It's not sane that we classify people in order to oppress them as women or glorify them as men.
Gender is not sane.
And gender is not consensual.
We're born: a doctor assigns us a gender. It's documented by the state, enforced by the legal profession, sanctified by the church, and it's bought and sold in the media.
We have no say in our gender - we're not allowed to question it, play with it, work it out with our friends, lovers or family.
Gender is not consensual.
Safe gender is being who and what we want to be when we want to be that, with no threat censure or violence.
Safe gender is going as far in an direction as we wish with not threats to our health, or to anyone else's.
Safe gender is not being pressured into passing, not having to lie, not having to hide.
Sane gender is asking questions about gender - talking to people who do gender and opening up about our gender histories and our gender desires.
Sane gender is probably very, very funny.
Consensual gender is respecting each others definitions of gender , and respecting the intentions of others to be inclusive in their own time.
Consensual gender is non violent in that it doesn't force its way in on anyone.
Consensual gender opens its arms and welcomes all people as gender outcasts - whoever is willing to admit to it.
Gender has a lot to learn from S/M.”
― Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us
Gender is not safe.
If i change my gender, I'm at risk of homocide, suicide or a life devoid of half my responsibilities.
If I'm born with a body that gives mixed gender signals, I'm at risk of being butchered - fixed, mutilated.
Gender is not safe.
And gender is not sane.
It's not sane to call a rainbow black and white.
It's not sane to demand we fit into one or the other only.
It's not sane that we classify people in order to oppress them as women or glorify them as men.
Gender is not sane.
And gender is not consensual.
We're born: a doctor assigns us a gender. It's documented by the state, enforced by the legal profession, sanctified by the church, and it's bought and sold in the media.
We have no say in our gender - we're not allowed to question it, play with it, work it out with our friends, lovers or family.
Gender is not consensual.
Safe gender is being who and what we want to be when we want to be that, with no threat censure or violence.
Safe gender is going as far in an direction as we wish with not threats to our health, or to anyone else's.
Safe gender is not being pressured into passing, not having to lie, not having to hide.
Sane gender is asking questions about gender - talking to people who do gender and opening up about our gender histories and our gender desires.
Sane gender is probably very, very funny.
Consensual gender is respecting each others definitions of gender , and respecting the intentions of others to be inclusive in their own time.
Consensual gender is non violent in that it doesn't force its way in on anyone.
Consensual gender opens its arms and welcomes all people as gender outcasts - whoever is willing to admit to it.
Gender has a lot to learn from S/M.”
― Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us
“Who was I now - woman or man? That question could never be answered as long as those were the only choices; it could never be answered if it had to be asked.”
― Stone Butch Blues
― Stone Butch Blues
“I thought about the long road I’d traveled. I had
never stopped looking out at the world through my
own eyes. I’d never stopped feeling like me on the
inside. What if the real me could emerge, changed
by the journey. Who would I be? Suddenly, I needed
to know. What would my life be worth if I stopped short of finding out? Fingers of excitement and fear tightened around my throat. Where was I going
now? Who was I becoming? I couldn’t answer those
questions, but even asking them was a sign to me that tumultuous change had been boiling just below the surface of my consciousness.”
― Stone Butch Blues
never stopped looking out at the world through my
own eyes. I’d never stopped feeling like me on the
inside. What if the real me could emerge, changed
by the journey. Who would I be? Suddenly, I needed
to know. What would my life be worth if I stopped short of finding out? Fingers of excitement and fear tightened around my throat. Where was I going
now? Who was I becoming? I couldn’t answer those
questions, but even asking them was a sign to me that tumultuous change had been boiling just below the surface of my consciousness.”
― Stone Butch Blues
Jae’s 2024 Year in Books
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