“It is very important that you be compassionate with yourself. The worse you feel about yourself, the more you'll want to go back to the false safety of the bad relationship you were in. Your attachment system gets activated more when you feel bad about yourself”
― Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
― Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
“If you're still in a relationship, remember that just because you can get along with anyone doesn't mean you have to. If you're unhappy after having tried every way to make things work, chances are that you should move on. It's in your best interest to end a dysfunctional relationship rather than get stuck forever with the wrong person just because you're secure.”
― Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
― Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
“Oxytocin, a hormone and neuropeptide ... plays a major role in attachment processes and serves several purposes: It causes women to go into labor, strengthens attachment, and ... [increases] trust and cooperation. We get a boost of oxytocin in our brain during orgasm and even when we cuddle -- which is why it's been tagged the "cuddle hormone." How is oxytocin related to conflict reduction? Sometimes we spend less quality time with our partner -- especially when other demands on us are pressing. However, neuroscience findings suggest that we should change our priorities. By forgoing closeness with our partners, we are also missing our oxytocin boost -- making us less agreeable to the world around us and more vulnerable to conflict.”
― Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
― Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
“Anxious people may take a very long time to get over a bad attachment, and they don't get to decide how long it will take. Only when every single cell in their body is completely convinced that there is no chance that their partner will change or that they will ever reunite will they be able to deactivate and let go.”
― Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
― Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
“The trick is not to get hooked on the highs and lows and mistake an activated attachment system for passion or love. Don't let emotional unavailability turn you on.”
― Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
― Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
Sachi’s 2025 Year in Books
Take a look at Sachi’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
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