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“And I dream too much and I don't write enough and I'm trying to find God everywhere.”
―
―
“I have manipulated everyone
who has ever fallen in love with me
to fall in love with me
and that either makes me a very good
liar
or a very unlovable human being.”
―
who has ever fallen in love with me
to fall in love with me
and that either makes me a very good
liar
or a very unlovable human being.”
―
“I wanted to be physically erased and start over again. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to be there. I guess I wanted to be nowhere, I wanted to listen to my brain talk inside of nothingness. I wanted to be untouchable and have no need.”
― Close to the Knives: A Memoir of Disintegration
― Close to the Knives: A Memoir of Disintegration
“In this space right here
that we have made for each other,
you can say anything
and I will not abandon you.
Unwrap the worst things you have done.
Watch me hold them up to the light
and not even flinch.”
―
that we have made for each other,
you can say anything
and I will not abandon you.
Unwrap the worst things you have done.
Watch me hold them up to the light
and not even flinch.”
―
“I could not stop wasting time. It was crazy. I wanted to do something with my life, but instead I went to sleep, or sung in the shower, or sat and stared at the wall. I couldn't even tell you about anything that I saw. I didn't talk to anybody. The cicadas kept dying outside, and as I dreamed, my mouth grew thick and venomous with silence.”
―
―
alisha’s 2025 Year in Books
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