Sign in with Facebook
“My shift was over. Thank God! One more closer to the grave.”
―
―
“One of us needs to get laid."
"Just one of us?"
"What are the odds of both of us getting laid?”
― Assholes Finish First
"Just one of us?"
"What are the odds of both of us getting laid?”
― Assholes Finish First
“Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one and everyone thinks everyone else's stinks.”
― How to Ruin a Summer Vacation
― How to Ruin a Summer Vacation
“I take a lull from my CamelBak and choke at its potency. It tastes like bad decisions. It's perfect.”
― Assholes Finish First
― Assholes Finish First
“Random Girl after a hookup: "Do you love me"
Tucker: "I don't understand the question.”
― I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
Tucker: "I don't understand the question.”
― I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
Allen’s 2025 Year in Books
Take a look at Allen’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
Allen hasn't connected with their friends on Goodreads, yet.
Favorite Genres
Polls voted on by Allen
Lists liked by Allen
