Sari Ellen

“IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE EXISTENCE OF THIS VEHICLE ("THE OBJECT") UNTIL YOU ARE .5 MILES FROM THE SECURITY PERIMETER OF JOHN F. KENNEDY INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT. BY READING THIS SIGN YOU HAVE DENIED EXISTENCE OF THE OBJECT AND IMPLIED CONSENT.”
― Gary Shteyngart, Super Sad True Love Story

“I'm a citizen of the republic of empathy.”
― Sam Lipsyte

“The radio station was playing Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake, a sure sign that things were much worse than they appeared.”
― Gary Shteyngart, Absurdistan

“For the first time in my life, I felt sorry for Jesus. Sorry that the miracles ascribed to him hadn’t actually made a difference. Sorry that we were all alone in a universe where even our fathers would get us nailed to a tree if they were so inclined, or cut our throats if so commanded—see under Isaac, another unfortunate Jewish shmuck.”
― Gary Shteyngart, Super Sad True Love Story