atom_box Evan G

“What challenged me and also confounded me was their (the Nobel prize attendees) apparent kindness...Their smiles were lovely, and most certainly charitable. Their benevolent might fooled me. I was a young fool, and still might be a fool, yet now I understand charity.”
― John Calvin Batchelor, The Birth of the People's Republic of Antarctica

“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

“We have this one life to offer; there is no second chance.”
― jen hatmaker, 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess

“SUMMARY—START WITH HEART Here’s how people who are skilled at dialogue stay focused on their goals—particularly when the going gets tough. Work on Me First, Us Second • Remember that the only person you can directly control is yourself. Focus on What You Really Want • When you find yourself moving toward silence or violence, stop and pay attention to your motives. • Ask yourself: “What does my behavior tell me about what my motives are?” • Then, clarify what you really want. Ask yourself: “What do I want for myself? For others? For the relationship?” • And finally, ask: “How would I behave if this were what I really wanted?” Refuse the Fool’s Choice • As you consider what you want, notice when you start talking yourself into a Fool’s Choice. • Watch to see if you’re telling yourself that you must choose between peace and honesty, between winning and losing, and so on. • Break free of these Fool’s Choices by searching for the and. • Clarify what you don’t want, add it to what you do want, and ask your brain to start searching for healthy options to bring you to dialogue.”
― Kerry Patterson, Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High