emily becker

“I'm not a religious person but I do sometimes think God made you for me.”
― Sally Rooney, Normal People

“What is wrong with you?” I say in lieu of greeting. “You went to Morris’s dorm and declared your intentions?”

He offers a faint smile. “Of course. It was the noble thing to do. I can’t be chasing after another guy’s girl without his knowledge.”

“I’m not his girl,” I snap. “We went on one date! And now I’m never going to be his girl, because he doesn’t want to go out with me again.”

“What the hell?” Logan looks startled. “I’m disappointed in him. I thought he had more of a competitive spirit than that.”

“Seriously? You’re going to pretend to be surprised? He won’t see me again because your jackass self told him he couldn’t.”

Astonishment fills his eyes. “No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Is that what he told you?” Logan demands.

“Not in so many words.”

“I see. Well, what words did he actually use?”

I grit my teeth so hard my jaw aches. “He said he’s backing off because he doesn’t want to get in the middle of something so complicated. I pointed out that there’s nothing complicated about it, seeing as you and I are not together.” My aggravation heightens. “And then he insisted that I need to give you a chance, because you’re a—” I angrily air-quote Morris’s words “—‘stand-up guy who deserves another shot.’”

Logan breaks out in a grin.

I stab the air with my finger. “Don’t you dare smile. Obviously you put those words in his mouth. And what the hell was he jabbering about when he told me you and him were ‘family’?” All the disbelief I’d felt during my talk with Morris comes spiraling back, making me pace the bedroom in hurried strides. “What did you say to him, Logan? Did you brainwash him or something? How are you guys family? You don’t even know each other!”

Strangled laughter sounds from Logan’s direction. I spin around and level a dark glower at him.

“He’s talking about the joint family we created in Mob Boss. It’s this role-playing game where you’re the Don of a mob family and you’re fighting a bunch of other mafia bosses for territory and rackets and stuff. We played it when I went over there, and I ended up staying until four in the morning. Seriously, it was intense.” He shrugs. “We’re the Lorris crime syndicate.”

I’m dumbfounded.

Oh my God.

Lorris? As in Logan and Morris? They fucking Brangelina’d themselves?

“What is happening?” I burst out. “You guys are best friends now?”

“He’s a cool guy. Actually, he’s even cooler in my book now for stepping down like that. I didn’t ask him to, but clearly he grasps what you refuse to see.”

“Yeah, and what’s that?” I mutter.

“That you and I are perfect for each other.”

No words. There are no words to accurately convey what I’m feeling right now. Horror maybe? Absolute insanity? I mean, it’s not like I’m madly in love with Morris or anything, but if I’d known that kissing Logan at the party would lead to…this, I would have strapped on a frickin’ chastity gag.”
― Elle Kennedy, The Mistake

“There was before you and there was during you. For some reason, I never thought there would be an after you.”
― Colleen Hoover, Reminders of Him

“I let out another groan. “What if I lost her for good this time?”

Garrett and Tucker instantly shake their heads. “You didn’t,” Garrett assures me.

“How can you be so sure of that?”

“Because she told you she loves you.”

“You stupid jackass,” Tucker adds with a grin.

I love you, you stupid jackass. Not the words a man wants to hear. The first three, sure. The last three? Pass.

“How do I fix this?” I ask, sighing.

“Quick. Write her another poem,” Garrett suggests.

I scowl at him.

“No, I think G’s onto something,” Tuck says. “I think the only way to save this is to bust out another grand gesture. What else was on her list?”

“Nothing,” I moan. “I did everything on the list.”

Tucker shrugs. “Then come up with something else.”

A grand gesture? I’m a guy, damn it. I need direction. “Is Wellsy coming back here?” I ask Garrett.

He smirks at my pleading tone. “Even if she is, I’m not letting you pick her brain. You’re gonna have to fix this one all on your own.”

There’s a pause, and then…

“You stupid jackass,” my friends say in unison.”
― Elle Kennedy, The Mistake