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Jest Ninney
“I go to a public middle school. That’s the place where non-rich parents send their kids—the ones who are too old to be cute and too young to be interesting. Think of it as taxpayer-funded daycare so parents have a few precious hours to themselves. The scariest thing about middle school, though, is that some of the older kids here have gone through PUBERTY. That means they’re old enough to make babies. These gangly, hairy kids are so scary, to make myself feel better, I have to DEMUHANIZE them by calling them GORILLAS.”
Jest Ninney, Journal of a Sneaky Twerp: A Shameless Wimpy Kid Parody

T.Z. Layton
“Otto dove and headed the ball, catching it with a splat on his oversize forehead.”
T.Z. Layton, The Academy II: The Journey Continues

Dr. Block
“If he doesn’t to come, he doesn’t have to,” I said. “Thanks, Justin, but I’ll come,” said Mike.”
Dr. Block, Minecraft Halloween Tales: A Collection of 5 Spooky Stories

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