Connie White

“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.”
― Erma Bombeck

“Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.”
― Erma Bombeck, Family - The Ties That Bind...And Gag!

“Families aren't easy to join. They're like an exclusive country club where membership makes impossible demands and the dues for an outsider are exorbitant.”
― Erma Bombeck, Family - The Ties That Bind...And Gag!

“Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.”
― Erma Bombeck