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“To summarize thus far, the Self entails three key ingredients: freedom, choice, and responsibility. We create our sense of Self with the choices we make, the sense of responsibility with which we approach our existence, and the way we use our freedom despite our constraints.”
― Sara Kuburic, It's On Me: Accept Hard Truths, Discover Your Self, and Change Your Life

“Being a real person oneself is
a matter of setting up limits and drawing lines and saying no. I don't want to
be a nebulous bit of ectoplasm straying around in other people's lives. That
sort of vague sympathy with everybody precludes any real understanding of
anybody."
"The sympathy needn't be vague--"And it precludes any real loyalty to
anybody."
"One must know the details, justice, after all--"
"I detest chatter and gossip. One must hold one's tongue. Even sometimes
just not think about people. Real thoughts come out of silence.”
― Iris Murdoch, The Black Prince

“It’s possible to shatter a rock, and impossible to break water. Many people’s idea of the Self is like a rock. Something that must be formed, “set,” and unmovable. And yet, the Self is more like water—flowing, changing, navigating around the things in its path. Your fluidity is your power, not your weakness.”
― Sara Kuburic, It's On Me: Accept Hard Truths, Discover Your Self, and Change Your Life

“When we experience self-loss, we often don’t participate with intention or discernment, and, as a result, we struggle to defend or accept not just our circumstances, consequences, or responsibilities, but who we are.”
― Sara Kuburic, It's On Me: Accept Hard Truths, Discover Your Self, and Change Your Life