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Mark Twain
“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”
― Mark Twain

Oscar Wilde
“No good deed goes unpunished.”
― Oscar Wilde

George Burns
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
― George Burns

Stephen  King
“When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off.”
― Stephen King, Storm of the Century

Oscar Wilde
“There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

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