Joseph Beattie

“...and there was nothing to do except to wait and to hurt.”
― Mark Haddon, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time

“If I ever have to go to hospital, madam,’ one of the midwives calmly tells her, ‘I want to be seen last. Because that means everyone else there is sicker than me.”
― Adam Kay, This is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor

“Her extremely posh eight year-old asks her a question about the economy (!), and before she answers it, she asks her extremely posh five year-old "Do you know what the economy is, darling?"

"Yes mummy, it's the part of the plane that's terrible".

This is how revolutions start.”
― Adam Kay, This is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor

“Tuesday, 5 July 2005 Trying to work out a seventy-year-old lady’s alcohol consumption to record in the notes. I’ve established that wine is her poison. Me: ‘And how much wine do you drink per day, would you say?’ Patient: ‘About three bottles on a good day.’ Me: ‘OK . . . And on a bad day?’ Patient: ‘On a bad day I only manage one.”
― Adam Kay, This is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor