Chris Falkner

“I'll teach you to kick me...'
You don't need to teach me--I already know how!”
― Groucho Marx

“A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud. I am arrived at last in the presence of a man so real and equal, that I may drop even those undermost garments of dissimulation, courtesy, and second thought, which men never put off, and may deal with him with the simplicity and wholeness with which one chemical atom meets another.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson , Essays, First Series

“I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.”
― Groucho Marx

“While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.”
― Groucho Marx