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“Why do you never see elephants hiding up in trees? Because they’re really good at it. I’m reading an anti-gravity book. I can’t put it down!”
― Charles Timmerman, Funster 600+ Funniest Dad Jokes Book: Overloaded with family-friendly groans, chuckles, chortles, guffaws, and belly laughs

“When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent. I, for one, like Roman numerals. Yesterday, a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester. Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover? Because you shouldn’t press your luck.”
― Charles Timmerman, Funster 600+ Funniest Dad Jokes Book: Overloaded with family-friendly groans, chuckles, chortles, guffaws, and belly laughs

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”
― Thomas A. Edison

“Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace.”
― Milan Kundera