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Andy Rooney
“I've learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.”
Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney
“I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.”
Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney
“I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.”
Andy Rooney

Andy Rooney
“Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!”
Frank Kaiser

Andy Rooney
“For most of life, nothing wonderful happens. If you don’t enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are that you’re not going to be very happy. If someone bases his happiness or unhappiness on major events like a great new job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn’t going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.”
Andy Rooney

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