Arandomperson

“If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried. ”
― David Brent

“This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Reptile Room

“Jeremy: "Who did it? Wait-you think I did. Don't you?"
Ash: "It did cross our minds at one point. Actually, it seemed to keep crossing them. Back and forth. Maybe we should put in a crosswalk.”
― L.J. Smith, Daughters of Darkness

“The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.”
― James D. Nicoll