Savannah Garrett

“If I were to hold up a bank with my index finger and my thumb as the “gun,” then I hope I wouldn’t try to use half my weapon to hitchhike my escape from the police.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“If science took my IQ and spread it evenly among the world's population, like mental mayonnaise, we'd have more art, less war, and higher cholesterol.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

“I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet. None of us would leave the house unless a Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider said it was okay”
― David Wong, This Book Is Full of Spiders

“My shame circuits burned out from overuse years ago.”
― David Wong, This Book Is Full of Spiders