sylvia

“I wouldn't have given up on you, if the positions had been switched. I would have never loved again. You already had it - it was already yours, all the love I ever had to give.”
― Rollercoasterwords, All the Young Dudes: Sirius's Perspective

“So. I’m to be your servant?” I asked in wry amusement.”
“Of course. It’s the perfect guise. You’ll be virtually invisible to all the nobility of Buckkeep. Only other servants will speak to you, and as I intend that you will be a downtrodden, overworked, poorly dressed lackey of a supercilious, overbearing, and insufferable young lord, you will have little time to socialize at all.” He suddenly halted and looked back. One slender, long-fingered hand clasped his chin as h looked down his nose at me. His fake brows and knit amber eyes narrowed as he snapped. “And do not dare to meet my eyes, sirrrah! I will tolerate no impertinence. Stand up straight, keep your place, and speak no word without my leave. Are you clear on these instructions?”
“Perfectly.” I grinned at him.
He continued to glare at me. Then suddenly the glare was replaced by a look of exasperation. “FitzChivalry, the game is up if you cannot play this role and play it to the hilt. Not just when we stand in the Great Hall of Buckkeep, but every moment of every day when there is the remotest chance that we might be seen. I have been Lord Golden since I arrived, but I am still a newcomer to the Queen’s court, and folk will stare. Chade and Queen Kettricken have done all they could to help me in this ruse, Chade because he perceived how useful I might be, and the Queen because she feels I truly deserve to be treated as a lord.”
“And no one recognized you?” I broke in incredulously.
He cocked his head. “What would they recognize, Fitz? My dead white skin and colorless eyes? My jester’s motley and my painted face? My capers and cavorting and daring witticisms?”
“I knew you the moment I saw you,” I reminded him.
He smiled warmly. “Just as I knew you, and would know you when first I met you a dozen lives hence. But few others do. Chade with his assassin’s eyes picked me out, and arranged a private audience at which I made myself known to the Queen. A few others have given me curious glances from time to time, but no one would dare to accost Lord Golden and ask him if fifteen years ago he had been King Shrewd’s jester at this selfsame court. My age appears wrong to them, as does my coloring, as does my demeanor, as does my wealth.”
“How can they be so blind?”
He shook his head and smiled at my ignorance. “Fitz, Fitz. They never even saw me in the first place. They saw only a jester and a freak. I deliberately took no name when first I arrived here. To most of the lords and ladies of Buckkeep, I was just the fool. They heard my jokes and saw my capers, but they never really saw me.” He gave a small sigh. Then he gave me a considering look. “You made it a name. The Fool. And you saw me. You met my eyes when others looked aside, disconcerted.” I saw the tip of his tongue for a second. “Did you never guess how you frightened me? That all my ruses were useless against the eyes of a small boy?”
― Robin Hobb, Fool's Errand

“When you wake up everyday, you get a chance to think what you wanna do with your day. What you want to put into the world that day, and who you want to be. Be a lover. Choose love. Give love. Love everyone, always. Always. Give as much love as you can. I love you.”
― Harry Styles

“Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest on reciprocity.”
― C.S. Lewis