Scott Crunkleton

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“I find that a duck’s opinion of me is very much influenced over whether or not I have bread.”
Mitch Hedberg

“I played golf... I did not get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying...”
Mitch Hedberg
tags: humor

“My fake plants died, because I did not pretend to water them.”
Mitch Hedberg

“A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.”
Mitch Hedberg

“Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!”
Mitch Hedberg

year in books

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