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Chris Johnson

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https://www.goodreads.com/cpj508

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Chris’s Quotes

“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”
― Mark Twain

tags: americans, geography, war

7533 likes

“When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off.”
― Stephen King, Storm of the Century

tags: god, humor, religion

7981 likes

“Chance is perhaps the pseudonym of God when he does not want to sign.”
― Théophile Gautier

tags: misattributed-to-einstein

8891 likes

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

tags: humor, religion

30246 likes

“Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!”
― George Carlin

tags: atheism, humor, life, religion

6681 likes

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