Greenprarie

“How could someone feel that being beaten does not justify leaving? Being struck and forced not to resist is a particularly damaging form of abuse because it trains out of the victim the instinctive reaction to protect the self. To override that most natural and central instinct, a person must come to believe that he or she is not worth protecting. Being beaten by a “loved one” sets up a conflict between two instincts that should never compete: the instinct to stay in a secure environment (the family) and the instinct to flee a dangerous environment. As if on a see-saw, the instinct to stay prevails in the absence of concrete options on the other side. Getting that lop-sided see-saw off the ground takes more energy than many victims have. No”
― Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence

“That’s what happens when you’re angry at people. You make them part of your life.” —Garrison Keillor In”
― Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence

“A woman is expected, first and foremost, to respond to every communication from a man.”
― Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence

“People who refuse to let go often make small requests that appear reasonable, like Tommy’s letter of reference, though the real purpose of such requests is to cement attachment or gain new reasons for contact.”
― Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence