Amanda

“I shut my eyes tight. I felt a sudden urge to disappear. I imagined being able to breathe in so deeply that my body would dissolve into the air I’d sucked in, and then I'd no longer be in my body, in my physical self, in this car with S, or anywhere at all. "You are the problem," I thought to myself. "Something is wrong with you. And if you were taken out of the equation, everything would be just fine.”
― Emily Ratajkowski, My Body

“I didn’t want to reminisce. I was sure that somehow the conversation would lead me back to my fifteen-year-old self, silent and complicit in bed at Mike’s house or uncomfortable and unsure at castings. I was embarrassed by that version of myself. I hated that Sadie had known her.”
― Emily Ratajkowski, My Body

“I thought of my mother's belief that spaces hold memories, that walls take on meaning, that homes become a part of us, just as people do...I wondered whether the more I became a woman and the more space I occupied apart from her, the more she would deteriorate.”
― Emily Ratajkowski, My Body

“Eventually, Jonathan will run out of “unseen” crusty Polaroids, but I will remain as the real Emily; the Emily who owns the high-art Emily, and the one who wrote this essay, too. She will continue to carve out control where she can find it.”
― Emily Ratajkowski, My Body