Kathleen

“means that of all God's creatures a cat is at all times himself. When in the presence of a king, mere mortal man must bow and lady, curtsy. A dog, well trained, will grovel and beg. Horses wait patiently in the rain upon his pleasure. But a cat cares but for himself. He will walk into any room and stare you in the eye, be you king or clown and he will hold his own opinion of you. He will turn his back on you if you displease him, stand, sit, or walk away as is his will. And a king will tolerate this from a cat, but from no one else, since to protest would be the veriest waste of time.” “How”
― D.L. Carter, Ridiculous!

“Do not try any of this at home. The author of this book is an Internet cartoonist, not a health or safety expert. He likes it when things catch fire or explode, which means he does not have your best interests in mind. The publisher and the author disclaim responsibility for any adverse effects resulting, directly or indirectly, from information contained in this book.”
― Randall Munroe, What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions

“I'd never been much of an athlete, due to a physical condition I'd had since birth (unathleticism). Perhaps if there were a sport centered around lying on your couch in a neurotic stupor all day, I'd take an interest.”
― Colson Whitehead, The Noble Hustle: Poker, Beef Jerky, and Death

“Quentin looked curiously around. "This is a neat room," he said.

"Yes, it is," I replied, directing my compliment toward the distant ceiling. Everyone deserves a few compliments. Even a building.”
― Seanan McGuire, Chimes at Midnight