Elle

“You’re taking a nap? Come on, Kate, I need you for this fight. Stop lying around.”
“You must think you’re funny.”
“Just saying, you have to pull your own weight. A hot body and flirting will only get you so far.”
“Everything I do, I learned from you, boy toy.”
“Boy toy?” Curran asked.
“Would you prefer man candy?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Rises

“You know," she said, stirring her tea, "the fastest way to get him off your back is to sleep with him. And tell him you love him. Preferably while in bed."
I smirked and the tea almost came out of my nose. "He'd run like he was on fire.”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Burns

“Did those nice church ladies come by again?"
He nodded. "I asked them if a man died and then the woman remarried, and then the three of them met in heaven, would it be a sin for them to have a threesome, since they were all married in God's eye. And they decided they were late to be somewhere else.”
― Ilona Andrews, Gunmetal Magic

“Are you sure you know where you're going?" Andrea frowned.
"Would you like me to pull over and ask that bamboo for directions?"
"I don't know, do you think it will answer?"
We peered at the bamboo.
"I think it looks suspicious," Andrea said.
"Maybe there is a heffalump hiding in it."
Andrea stared at me.
"You know, heffalump? From Pooh Bear?"
"Where do you even get this shit?”
― Ilona Andrews, Magic Slays