Solomon Bacon

“Why am I angry? Every morning, I wake up, I open my eyes, remember who and what I am and I say, “Yuck.” Then I go about my day, and when it’s over, I get back in bed, put a sheet between my sweaty legs and, as I drift off, looking back on a day of being this shitbag of a human, I mutter to myself, “Jesus Christ.”
― Louis C.K.

“How many plays have been written in France?' Candide asked the abbe.

'Five or six thousand.'

'That's a lot,' said Candide. 'How many of them are good?'

'Fifteen or sixteen,' replied the abbe.

'That's a lot,' said Martin.”
― Voltaire, Candide

“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you're allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.”
― Shannon L. Alder

“The only time you look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.”
― Louis C.K.