Solomon Bacon

“The only time you look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.”
― Louis C.K.

“How many plays have been written in France?' Candide asked the abbe.

'Five or six thousand.'

'That's a lot,' said Candide. 'How many of them are good?'

'Fifteen or sixteen,' replied the abbe.

'That's a lot,' said Martin.”
― Voltaire, Candide

“Imagine all contradictions, all possible incompatibilities--you will find them in the government, in the law-courts, in the churches, in the public shows of this droll nation.”
― Voltaire, Candide

“Why am I angry? Every morning, I wake up, I open my eyes, remember who and what I am and I say, “Yuck.” Then I go about my day, and when it’s over, I get back in bed, put a sheet between my sweaty legs and, as I drift off, looking back on a day of being this shitbag of a human, I mutter to myself, “Jesus Christ.”
― Louis C.K.