Devon

“As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.”
― David Sedaris, Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls: Essays, Etc.

“When asked "What do we need to learn this for?" any high-school teacher can confidently answer that, regardless of the subject, the knowledge will come in handy once the student hits middle age and starts working crossword puzzles in order to stave off the terrible loneliness.”
― David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

“Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.”
― David Sedaris