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George Carlin
“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
George Carlin

Terry Pratchett
“Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT."
Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.”
Terry Pratchett

George Carlin
“He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.”
George Carlin

Lewis Carroll
“The hurrier I go, the behinder I get.”
Lewis Carroll

Stephen  King
“We lie best when we lie to ourselves.”
Stephen King, It

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