Andrew Schmidt

“Fast and stupid is still stupid. It just gets you to stupid a lot quicker than humans could on their own. Which, I admit, is an accomplishment," she added, "because we're pretty damn good at stupid.”
― Jack Campbell, Invincible

“Nothing in the universe had a shorter half-life than a politician's memory for inconvenient facts,”
― David Weber, Echoes of Honor

“Desjani pulled out a ration bar. 'Hungry?' she asked Geary.

'I had something earlier. Is that a Yanika Babiya?'


'No. It’s . . .' She squinted at the label. 'Spicy chicken curry.'

'A chicken curry ration bar? How are they?'

Taking a small bite, Desjani chewed slowly, pretending not to be aware that everyone on the bridge was watching her instead of staring at the representation of the alien hypernet gate. 'It’s definitely got curry in it. Spicy, not so much. Some of the other stuff tastes like chicken.'

'That doesn’t narrow it down too much, does it?' Geary said.

'Every kind of meat in a ration bar tastes like chicken, Captain,' Lieutenant Castries suggested. 'Except the chicken.'

'You’re right, Lieutenant,' Desjani said. 'Real chicken in ration bars tastes like, what, mutton?'

'Ham,' Yuon tossed in. 'Bad ham.'

'So this can’t be chicken because it tastes like chicken,' Desjani concluded.”
― Jack Campbell, Dreadnaught

“Humanity's gift to the universe. Duct Tape.”
― Jack Campbell, Invincible