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George Carlin
“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
George Carlin

Albert Einstein
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
Albert Einstein

George Carlin
“I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.”
George Carlin

George Carlin
“Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,
your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. ”
George Carlin

George Carlin
“Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!”
George Carlin

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