“لكِنِّي لا اذكرُ شيئاً، مِنَ الصَّعبِ التذكّر على أيةِ حال، صعْب أن أعرِف كم مرّة ضَرَبْتُ كُلْيتها اليسرى وَخَضْخَضْتُ حصاتها الصغيرة. كم مرّة ضايقْتُ رئتيها فاستيقظتْ كعمودٍ روماني تحرس ظلامي. لا أعرِفُ كمْ شعرتُ بِالغربةِ. لا أعرِف كمْ شعرتُ بِالوحدةِ. لا أعرِف إِن كانت الأحراش التي تدفـأتُها طيبةً وهادئة أم خانقةً وملّحة. لا أعرِف غير أني انتظرتُ في سديمها تسعةَ أشهرٍ لأنزِل في يومِ عيد، في صالةٍ عاديّةٍ إلا من صراخها والآمها المفزعة، إلا من صراخي الذي شقَّ قروحاً في سقفِ الصالةِ المرتفع، إلا مِنْ بكاءٍ مرٍّ لا أذكُرُ سببهُ أيضاً.
ربما لأنَّ الضوء كانَ أكثر مما توقّعتُ
ربما لان الهواء كانَ أكثر مما تنفستُ
ربما لأني لم أشأ أن أولدَ
ربما حزناً ما كان يجعل هذا الصراخ منطقياً.”
― الحياة بالنيابة
ربما لأنَّ الضوء كانَ أكثر مما توقّعتُ
ربما لان الهواء كانَ أكثر مما تنفستُ
ربما لأني لم أشأ أن أولدَ
ربما حزناً ما كان يجعل هذا الصراخ منطقياً.”
― الحياة بالنيابة
“If
"If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn't a lie,
Life would be delight,--
But things couldn't go right
For in such a sad plight
I wouldn't be I.
If earth was heaven and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense
But I'd be in suspense
For on such a pretense
You wouldn't be you.
If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
Things would seem fair,--
Yet they'd all despair,
For if here was there
We wouldn't be we.”
―
"If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn't a lie,
Life would be delight,--
But things couldn't go right
For in such a sad plight
I wouldn't be I.
If earth was heaven and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
There might be some sense
But I'd be in suspense
For on such a pretense
You wouldn't be you.
If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
Things would seem fair,--
Yet they'd all despair,
For if here was there
We wouldn't be we.”
―
Ayat’s 2024 Year in Books
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