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“I am the Raskolnikov of jerking off – the sticky evidence is everywhere!”
― Portnoy’s Complaint
― Portnoy’s Complaint
“It’s a family joke that when I was a tiny child I turned from the window out of which I was watching a snowstorm, and hopefully asked, "Momma, do we believe in winter?”
― Portnoy’s Complaint
― Portnoy’s Complaint
“She worries over the way her love for me comes and goes, appears and disappears. She doubts its reality simply because it isn't as steadily pleasurable as a kitten. God knows it is sad. The human voice conspires to desecrate everything on earth.”
― Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters & Seymour: An Introduction
― Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters & Seymour: An Introduction
“I live alone (but catless, I'd like everybody to know)....”
― Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters & Seymour: An Introduction
― Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters & Seymour: An Introduction
“I can lie about my name, I can lie about my school, but how am I going to lie about this fucking nose? "You seem like a very nice person Mr. Porte-Noir, but why do you go around covering the middle of your face like that?" Because suddenly it has taken off, the middle of my face! Because gone is the button of my childhood years, that pretty little thing that people used to look at in my carriage, and lo and behold, the middle of my face has begun to reach out towards God. Porte-Noir and Parsons my ass, kid, you have got J-E-W written right across the middle of your face...”
― Portnoy’s Complaint
― Portnoy’s Complaint
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