Xidmary

“Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!”
― George Carlin

“Here’s to books, the cheapest vacation you can buy.”
― Charlaine Harris

“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.”
― Mae West

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
― George Carlin