Keith Campbell

“Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. ”
― W.C. Fields

“Our principles are the springs of our actions. Our actions, the springs of our happiness or misery. Too much care, therefore, cannot be taken in forming our principles. ”
― Red Skelton

“Think for yourself. Question authority.”
― Timothy Leary

“Marry an outdoors woman. That way, if you have to throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.”
― W.C. Fields