Michael

“He [Iggy] started reaching for things around the table, and his hand landed on Total. “You’re black.”
“I prefer canine-American,” said Total.”
― James Patterson, The Final Warning

“They [Erasers] were bad fliers," Angel chimed in, "And in their minds, they weren't all kill the mutants, like they usually are. They were like, remember to flap!”
― James Patterson, School's Out—Forever

“What happened to your tan?"--Fang
"It was dirt." --Max”
― James Patterson, The Final Warning

“What I said yesterday didn't mean anything! I love everyone in the flock! Plus, it was the Valium talking!"
"Uh-huh. You just keep telling yourself that. You looove me."
Max: (tries to punch him)
"Pick a tree. I'll go carve our initials in it."
Max: (screams and runs into bathroom)”
― James Patterson, Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports