Will

“Maybe I should get a cat. The thought invades my head fully formed and utterly obvious. A cat. Another little sociopath to curl up beside me at night and keep me warm.”
― Victoria Helen Stone, Jane Doe

“Cell phones are so convenient that they're an inconvenience.”
― Haruki Murakami, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage

“Randall, the gay alcoholic in the house next door, boldly peeps through my windows. 'Boy, you sure rock in that chair a lot,' he said last week, his face pressed against my screen.
This time I was lying on my bed with Katherine's cats. I'm watching them while she's out of town. I can be very mushy, and he watched me kissing them and saying that all the other cats in the neighborhood were jealous of their beauty.”
― David Sedaris, Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977-2002

“The only thing that's worse than people who say "I am what I am" is people who say "I yam what I yam" while doing a Popeye imitation.”
― Ariel Leve, It Could Be Worse, You Could Be Me: Witty Essays on Life's Comic Misfortunes for David Sedaris Fans