Georgi Kunchev

“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.”
― Ellen DeGeneres

“People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. ”
― Ellen DeGeneres

“Procrastination is not the problem. It is the solution.

Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.”
― Ellen DeGeneres

“What’s not so great is that all this technology is destroying our social skills. Not only have we given up on writing letters to each other, we barely even talk to each other. People have become so accustomed to texting that they’re actually startled when the phone rings. It’s like we suddenly all have Batphones. If it rings, there must be danger.

Now we answer, “What happened? Is someone tied up in the old sawmill?”

“No, it’s Becky. I just called to say hi.”

“Well you scared me half to death. You can’t just pick up the phone and try to talk to me like that. Don’t the tips of your fingers work?”
― Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously... I'm Kidding