Richard Rutledge jr.

“I remain just one thing, and one thing only, and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician”
― Charlie Chaplin

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

“-Good thing you don’t own a mirror, Mr. Mirrorless, or you’d see how ugly you are.

-What makes you think I don’t own a mirror? Every face that ever looks at me tells me that I’m ugly. But every time I make them laugh, I get to show them what beauty really is.

-I see what you mean. Here, take my rearview mirror. I don’t need to carry it around like a vagina on a rope anymore.

-Mr. Thrustsalone, you don’t need to drag a vagina on a rope like some kind of pet on a leash to make you happy. There’s a reason why God invented right hands and hookers.

-Why, so politicians could have more productive ways to spend their time and our money than engaging in politics?

-Mr. Thrustsalone, you are wise beyond your years.

-I’m 88 years old.

-Yet you don’t look a day older than 87.”
― Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

“I once saw a politician walking a dog, and I thought, “How absurd—an animal walking an animal.” Then I thought, “If given the choice, I’d rather vote for the dog.”
― Jarod Kintz, This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks