Ben Stroman

“As for Dr. Remond Courtney, his golf swing was so unusual that from a distance he appeared to be beating a snake to death. It was a very violent golf swing for a psychiatrist. He managed an eight on the first hole and still won it by two strokes.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Tourist Season

“and the Chamber of Commerce was handing out cyanide capsules.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Tourist Season

“Capitalists don’t want free trade any more than they want whooping cough. Their nature is to conglomerate, homogenate, vertically integrate and dominate until there is no competition. The rules? Screw the rules! They’ll rig the game, spit on the ball, bribe the refs, tilt the playing field, pork the cheerleaders and kick free enterprise in the nuts.”
― Tim Dorsey, Orange Crush

“She stood and pointed at the president with her pen. “How many men do you expect to lose?” The president leaned into the podium. “Our military is in such incredible fighting condition that I actually expect to gain men…. Next question!…”
― Tim Dorsey, Orange Crush