Ben Stroman

“In all the land there is only one you, possibly two, but seldom more than sixteen.”
― Amy Sedaris, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence

“Nobody from the Amazing Kingdom bothered to check with previous employers, such as the New York City Police Department, to inquire about allegations of bribery, moral turpitude, substance abuse, witness tampering and the unnecessary use of deadly force, to wit, the pistol-whipping of a young man suspected of shoplifting a bag of cheese-flavored Doritos.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Native Tongue

“It was inevitable that the poacher and the counterfeiter would bond, sharing as they did a blanket contempt for government, taxes, homosexuals, immigrants, minorities, gun laws, assertive women and honest work.”
― Carl Hiaasen, Lucky You

“The television was on Florida Cable News. A gray-haired man behind the anchor desk reported near tragedy at a state motor vehicle office, where a man who had failed the eye exam pulled a gun and fired fifteen shots at the staff, hitting nobody.”
― Tim Dorsey, Florida Roadkill