John Lackore

“Careful, Mr. Spiro, guns are dangerous. Especially the end with the hole.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?"
Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Last Guardian

“He's a gem, sir. I wish I had one just like him." He rattled the ring of keys on Artemis's belt. "And what are these?" Artemis scratched his head. "Uh, keys?”
― Eoin Colfer, The Opal Deception

“[Artemis] returned to the aft bay for Mulch's version of a briefing.

The dwarf had drawn a crude diagram on a backlit wall panel. In fairness, there were more artistic chimpanzees. And less pungent ones. Mulch was using a carrot as a pointer, or more accurately, several carrots. Dwarfs liked carrots.

'This is Koboi Labs,' He mumbled around a mouthful of vegetable.

'That?' exclaimed Root.

'I realize, Julius, that it is not an accurate schematic.'

The Commander exploded from his chair. 'An accurate schematic? It's a rectangle for heaven's sake!'

Mulch was unperturbed. 'That's not important. This is the important bit.'

'That wobbly line?'

'It's a fissure,' pouted the dwarf. 'Anybody can see that.'

'Anybody in kindergarten maybe. So it's a fissure, so what?'

'This is the clever bit. Y'see that fissure is not usually there.'

Root began strangling the air again. Something he was doing more and more lately.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Arctic Incident